


Mr. Loverman

by way_too_many_fandoms



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji in Love, Eiji Plays Guitar, Heartbroken Eiji, M/M, New York City, Post-Canon, Song Lyrics, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/way_too_many_fandoms/pseuds/way_too_many_fandoms
Summary: Eiji has been away from New York for four years. In that time he hasn't spoken with Ash at all, nobody has. He ends up coming back to New York and starting a new life.Title from Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Mr. Loverman

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to this song so many times while writing this and I cried too so that's great. I haven't watched Banana Fish in a hot minute so there might be some things wrong. Nothing to major though. This was also something I came up with, wrote in my notes app, and then made a full story.

Eiji was back in America, he couldn’t find himself to really leave the country. It had become a second home to him, hell it felt much more like a home than his family back in Japan ever did. He had finished up his degree, although it felt like it took far longer than four years. Eiji was never sure what he was actually going to do with it, if he was ever going to do anything with it at all. 

His mind always returned to New York, back to the gang, to all the adventures that they had had, and of course, his memories always returned to Ash. Eiji never got a letter back, no texts, emails, calls, not a single thing. On one hand, it hurt, hurt more than anything in the entire world, on the other? He was almost happy, maybe Ash had actually been able to move on and live a life worth living. He hoped that the man had at least gotten his letter, Eiji had poured his heart and soul into it so if Ash had never read it that would be painful. 

Eiji had waited for months for Ash to magically show up in Japan, and he knew just how naive of him that was. He couldn’t help it though. Nothing had ever been the same since he had left Ash, it hurt all right. Nights when he couldn’t sleep because his mind was too preoccupied thinking about if the blonde was all right, eating natto, and thinking about how much Ash had hated it. He couldn’t even look at the trees without being reminded of Ash’s green eyes. 

Maybe that was the reason that Eiji found himself in New York again, he couldn’t stop himself. He had gotten a degree that felt useless now, couldn’t bring himself to talk to anyone in Japan, distanced himself even more from his family. So he left. 

He started out in a hotel room, thinking of all the nights that he had spent in hotel rooms with Ash. After realizing that he wasn’t really going back to Japan he started renting out an apartment. It wasn’t in the nicest of places but it felt right. Living in an area surrounded by gangs felt oddly comforting. 

Eiji picked up odd jobs to start with before securing a job at a bar not that far from his apartment complex. The others that worked there were nice enough, he was really reserved at first and only made a few comments here and there. He opened up though, ‘not as much as you did with Ash’, a small voice in the back of his head would supply. 

Eiji met with Sing again, he looked quite older than the last time he had seen him in person. It was nice having someone around that he was friendly with. They talked a lot, always dancing around the subject of Ash though. Not even Sing knew what happened to him, Eiji’s heart had broken the first time he heard. He wanted to hear that Ash was still there, still in contact, but he was gone. Eiji didn’t even try to move on, he knew that he couldn’t. 

Eiji tried to spend as much time at the bar as he could, as odd as it sounded he didn’t want to be alone at his apartment. It was always too quiet, it felt like it was missing something, and he knew what it was missing. He was told that he needed to get a hobby, something to occupy the time that he wasn’t at work. 

He tried many things; drawing, writing, running, a hell of a lot. After walking around downtown one day, and stumbling into a music store, he found one. Guitar, the first time that he had felt his fingers on the strings he knew that it was what he needed. Some people may just say that it was a distraction from the actual problem but Eiji saw it as an out. 

It had taken him a bit of time to learn to play it, anytime he wasn’t at work was devoted to practice. He scrolled through endless tutorial videos until he felt like he actually had a grasp, that was when a new idea came to mind. 

He had been learning all sorts of songs, strumming along to familiar beats and sounds. Why not try to write his own. And that was why Eiji was seated at a small stage overlooking the bar that he worked at. He had heard many a band, and solo artists, come in to try to get people to follow them. Eiji wasn’t really thinking about that though, in all honesty, he didn’t care what any of them thought. 

The crowd could hate him, call his song horrible, and nothing would change. Eiji was only playing this for two people, for himself; and for Ash.

“I’m headed straight for the floor, the alcohol served its tour.” Eiji’s voice poured out into the microphone. Any noise that was in the bar had subsided, all were intoxicated on his voice and no longer the liquor. 

He sang through the first part of the verse, trying his best to not choke up. This was the first time that he was performing this song in front of people, even Sing had come along to hear it. Sing had seen the guitar leaning up against the wall in Eiji’s apartment one day and asked what that was about. 

“But who put these waves in the door, I crack and out I pour.” Eiji’s was going to cry during this song, he just knew it. It was something that always happened whenever he sang it. No matter how much he tried to stop himself it happened. 

He leaned back in his seat and began the chorus, “I’m Mr. Loverman, and I miss my loverman.” That lyric would be misinterpreted by anyone that didn’t really know him, and he was fine with that. The song, although being spoken to someone, was all about Ash. How he had loved him and how he had lost him. 

“I miss my lover,” goddamnit he missed Ash. Missed his morning voice, the way his hand felt in his own, the way he never pronounced a single word of Japanese right. Eiji missed it all. 

He softly began the second verse, “The ways that you say my name, have me running on and on.” Some nights the only sound that would run through his mind was Ash screaming out his name. When he had gotten shot and Ash sounded as though it was he who had a bullet through him. But then there were the times that he spoke quietly, a gentle whisper above Eiji’s ear. 

“But you’re cracking up, you’re cracking up.” The memories of Ash were fading with time, and he hated it so much. Eiji wanted to remember everything in perfect detail. He didn’t want to forget the small movement that the blonde made when he slept, or how he still had that one pierced ear. Eiji didn’t want to forget, he didn’t want the memories to be erased away with time. 

The second chorus was coming and he could already feel the tears pooling up in his eye, he looked down to his hand that was strumming so that nobody would be able to see him cry. “I’ve shattered now, I’m spilling out, upon this linoleum ground.” Stray tears began to drip down his cheeks and land on the wood of the guitar. ‘Dammnit’ he thought to himself. There were a few gasps from those who were seated close enough to see what was happening on stage. 

“Oh what am I supposed to do without you?” Eiji wanted an answer, he was crying out to an audience that was oblivous. Nobody could answer his question. What the hell was he supposed to do now, was he supposed to just move on and act like all the time that he spent with Ash was nothing. Pretend as if he was fine, that he wasn’t still heartbroken after leaving behind the one that he loved. He came back to a country he barely knew how to survive in to find him, and Ash was still gone. 

“I’m Mr. Loverman, and I miss lover.” One last final strum and the song was over, but his pain wasn’t. Eiji hung his head, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the crowd’s reaction. He could hear their applause but it felt distant. Eiji took a small bow before taking his guitar and heading off stage. He ignored Sing’s protest, trying to get him to stay. He walked into the alleyway that was next to the bar, setting his guitar, in its case, up against the brick wall. 

Now he could cry as much as he wanted and nobody would be able to judge him. 

Eiji’s head was between his knees, tears falling down onto the concrete below. He didn’t care that the alley was the most disgusting place to exist, none of that mattered. He just couldn’t be in the bar right now. Eiji wasn’t sure how long he cried for if it was minutes or hours, he didn’t stop until he heard the door next to him open and close. Eiji didn’t dare pick his head up though, after all, it was probably Sing. 

“That was a pretty good song.” Eiji’s mind shattered, he froze and stared down at the ground. He couldn’t move, wasn’t sure if it was fear or something else that made him freeze. No, no, no, NO. “I didn’t know you could play.” Eiji brought his eyes up to look at the source of the voice. It couldn’t be, it wasn’t. Yet standing before him in all his glory was Ash Lynx. He looked the same, just how Eiji remembered him. “Kon'nichiwa, Eiji.” The Japanese was just as bad as he remembered. 

Before Eiji could stop himself, rationalize whatever was going on, he was up on his feet. He brought his arms around the person, still stunned. “A-Ash…” 

Strong arms wrapped around his waist pulling him closer, there was no denying it. This was his Ash, not a hallucination, not a daydream; this was real. “Eiji.” 

Eiji tucked his head into the curve of Ash’s neck, not caring that he was most likely getting salty tears all over the other’s skin. He deserved it for not saying a word for years. “Aishiteru,” the words came out mumbled. 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> First thing, did you also cry? Secondly thank you for reading, this is the first thing I've written for Banana Fish so the characters might seem a bit off. I wanted that dramatic reveal after all the angst. I love making my characters suffer for some reason. Also the real lyrics are "lover,man" but i changed it for more romance~, and aishiteru is never really used in Japan but also r o m a n c e and ash and eiji are literal soulmates so they are very much in love. Hope you all enjoyed :)


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